Waking up.

Everything's starting to get a little bit better at a time...and I have that stupid dream.
I'm standing in some...doorway. And a billion guys are trying to get into the girl's bathroom (I have NO IDEA WHY) and I'm holding all of them off somehow with my awesome super powers. and he walks up and gives me the puppy dog look and I stare at him for a minute, and then he starts talking to me amidst all these people, taking my hand and asking me to take him back. My stomach is still in knots. Ugh.
Why are all the good dreams bad? That makes no sense. and yet it kinda does...i dunno. Maybe I have lost it. Maybe I'm really going completely insane.
I hate when people tell me "You can't do this to yourself over a boy." What am I doing to myself? Being sad? Hitting myself on solid objects? Not eating as much as I should? I'm not actually hurting myself. I'm still eating. I've only passed out once. and being sad is healthy. You can't be happy all the time and everyone expects me to. So I guess I'm tired of letting people help. Because people may seem like they wanna help, but no one really does. So I guess this whole act I'm putting on is working.
And so the tummy monster that won't let me eat has returned. O.o
Stupid dream.
It's not the dream that I didn't like.
It's the waking up.

-Kiera