Heyyo:) Whatis up dear friends? HA. So...Show Choir's been keeping me insanely busy. I shouldn't be up cuz I'm going to see Tonali-T (the middle school show choir) tomorrow, and I'm very much excited to go see them. But I gotta wake up kinda early to do that. :P and it's kinda late. but I'm not really tired. so whatever. It'll be fun though. Practice was awesome today. We got to jam out. JAM SESSION:) Yes. and headbanging is extremely difficult when your wearing 5 inch heels. Just to inform you...if you ever wanna...not headbang in 5 inch heels...
I have no idea what to write. I pretty much think, breathe...LIVE show choir lately. Just cuz...I'm at bonfils all the time. I'm practicing all the time. I'm either singing, dancing or sleeping. All the time. Eating doesn't count. cuz I do barely any of that now too. ha:) Not on purpose. I just forget to eat. Which happened today. I had breakfast and then went all day without eating anything until I realized I had a headache at 11:00 and went downstairs and ate some corndogs. Delish:P
Yeahh.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and been unsatisfied with the image that you see? Do ever think "Ugh. I need to lay off on the french fries." Or...something along those lines? I don't know why, I seem to pick out every little flaw of myself. The little pudge pack on my tummy. (hehe...pudge pack...) The way my eyebrow curves in the wrong way. The way my nose looks too big. Or how when I smile my dimples make my face look fat. of how my teeth or gross. You know I could just keep going on and on and on but I think that might bore you, so Imma stop here.
Anyways...yeah. I know I've talked about this before but..I have self-confidence issues. People give me compliments but I guess I just...see that people lie. I know people lie and so..I don't believe anyone. Because when I look in the mirror, I don't see beauty. I see a million different flaws that need to be fixed. I didn't used to see that. I wish someone would make me believe I was beautiful. Because I just can't do it myself. and don't go all 'oh you sad little child. you need a therapist.' wow. We're not going there, hunny. Go suck a muffin. Nobody wants you here. HAA. Okay I had to randomly rant for some reason...I apologize for that.
So...Show Choir. Since it's my life right now, I'll talk a little about that.
Our Dress rehearsal is on THURSDAY. and our first competition is on FRIDAY. I'm exctied...and NERVOUS! We're just starting costume changes tomorrow and I think I might just DIE. It's gonna be pretty intense considering the girls' costumes are...gonna be hard to change out of. We have 1 minutes. 60. seconds. to change out of our dresses and then into a whole new costume. and Lord knows I'm a SLOW dresser. I think I've talked about this before .but crap. Imma die.
but I did find out today that I have a soloish type thingamajig. :) It's just a buncha adlibbing in our 2nd song, but Imma sound beastly:) And Drinkall (our director) just walked up to me and told me he wanted me to learn it. No audition or nothinn. And then I had a happy breakdown. pahaha:) It made my day.
so...I got nothing to talk about. See ya:)
-Kiera
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Brick. Wall.
I will not be upset. I will not cry. I won't hang my head and let it beat me. I won't be the girl no one has seen. And no one will. Because I'm strong as hell as I always will be. I've made some stupid mistakes. I've believed stupid lies. I've allowed myself to be hurt far too many times. and I'm not gonna let it happen again. The risks can be taken, but the walls will not go down again. No matter how well I think it could work out. or how much I have feelings for a person. I'm a rock.
Happy 5th Birthday Maxwell Loveless. :)
-Kiera
Happy 5th Birthday Maxwell Loveless. :)
-Kiera
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Passionate.
Good evening Blogger! haa. I have show choir in about an hour so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write. but here goes nothing:)
Today was absolutely wonderful and I have no idea why. I realize that I have no idea about a lot of stuff. I guess that's okayy. I didn't have to come to school, but I did because I wanted to hear the college choir that came to perform for us 5th hour. I'm so glad I went. We're taking finals at my school, but I have perfect attendance so I don't have to take them. Awesome right? Yeah, unfortunately this is the last year they're doing that. Next year finals will be mandatory. Ugh:/ Well anyways, people who didn't have to take em' got to go to an empty classroom that the teacher volunteered her plan time for kids to go to, the library, or the gym. Me and some friends spent most of the time sitting in comfy chairs in the library listening to our ipods and chattin' it up. It was pretty beast, if I do say so myself. Then at the end of the day the choir came to perform and....wow they were good. I don't know what it is, but when I hear music...it's just..I can't explain it. I absolutely LOVE music. Throughout that whole thing I could not stop smiling. I guess music is just my passion. They would sing these perfect chords and I'd get butterflies and like...giggle! It was pretty funny. It's pretty much the same feeling of being in love. Except a million times stronger. Beautiful. And now I know that music HAS to be my profession. Because it's my passion. It's amazing how happy it can make me! I can be crying and sobbing and snotting all over myself and music just...makes it better. So much better than any boy. Imma marry music:) Kiera Madison Cecilia Loveless Music. I like itt. >.< I'm just gonna talk about music now. Because it interests me.
My momma said ever since I was little I've been a 'performer'. She said when people would take pictures of me, I would smile all cheesy and make a cute little face and pose. and that when I met new people, I was the most outgoing little girl in the world. and I'd show them all my toys and put on a show for them, and everything. Ha. And I had the HUGEST chubby cheeks. and my eyes were like...giiiigantic. They're still pretty big. but jeez. My daddy couldn't resist my puppy dog eyes:) Now they don't work:( haa. Anywaysss. I was talking to my mom the other day, and I asked when I started singing. and she's like 'literally since you were born.' and I was kinda arguing with it, considering newborns cannot sing...:P so then she told me ever since I could talk, I could sing. and when I was little, my mom sang at weddings, and so she'd sing around the house all the time, and I'd just mimic her. and I had vibrato. I'm not being cocky. IM NOT!! I SUCK!! IMMA GO KILL MYSELF CUZ I SUCK SO BAAAD!!!
Okay. I'm joking. I'm just...I don't think I'm all that good.
Anyways. Music. Is. My. Passion. I was walking home from the bus stop today. and...when I hear a song on my ipod that I know, it's almost impossible for me not to bust out singing it. So I'm walking home to the beat of the song, like lip singing it and making hand gestures and everything. My neighbors probably thought I was insane! :P I'm just happy that I have something that can make me so happy and will never fail me. Music isn't going to break up with me:PP haa. That would be a HORRIBLE DAY.
Well, that's not the only thing that can make me happy and will never leave me. I got God:) He's there to hold me when I need someone to hold me. He's there to hold my hand. He's there to talk to when I need a friend. He's always there. I love God. He's my other boyfriend. I have two now. Imma player. ;) Music and God are pretty awesome boyfriends. :DD You wish Music and God were your boyfriend. But they are MINE. Haa. :))
I'm just...I'm really happy. I keep saying that and then a month later I'm snotting all over myself again. But that's not gonna happen. No matter what happens to me, I'm being strong. I am a BRICK WALL. No one can break me. I'm not playing anyone's games anymore. and I'm not gonna let anything I see or hear hurt me. Because I'm Kiera Madison Cecilia Loveless. I can face anything. Bring on the Earthquakes. Bring on the heartbreak. Cuz I'm not stupid enough to trust anyone anyways. I'm the independant chick all the guys call wierd and mental. You know what? I don't give a care! I'm myself and that's all that matters. I'm not afraid to sing and dance in front of a thousand people. I'm not afraid to run down the school hallway screaming TUUUUNNNAAAA FISSSSHHHH!!! Imma be just fine:) Go ahead. Try to break me. You. Will. FAIL.
Haaaaaaa. Sorry. I'm in one of those moods...nothing's gonna stop me now. NOTHING.
I guess that's all for noww.
Question of the Blog? ::
What's your passion?
-Kiera
Today was absolutely wonderful and I have no idea why. I realize that I have no idea about a lot of stuff. I guess that's okayy. I didn't have to come to school, but I did because I wanted to hear the college choir that came to perform for us 5th hour. I'm so glad I went. We're taking finals at my school, but I have perfect attendance so I don't have to take them. Awesome right? Yeah, unfortunately this is the last year they're doing that. Next year finals will be mandatory. Ugh:/ Well anyways, people who didn't have to take em' got to go to an empty classroom that the teacher volunteered her plan time for kids to go to, the library, or the gym. Me and some friends spent most of the time sitting in comfy chairs in the library listening to our ipods and chattin' it up. It was pretty beast, if I do say so myself. Then at the end of the day the choir came to perform and....wow they were good. I don't know what it is, but when I hear music...it's just..I can't explain it. I absolutely LOVE music. Throughout that whole thing I could not stop smiling. I guess music is just my passion. They would sing these perfect chords and I'd get butterflies and like...giggle! It was pretty funny. It's pretty much the same feeling of being in love. Except a million times stronger. Beautiful. And now I know that music HAS to be my profession. Because it's my passion. It's amazing how happy it can make me! I can be crying and sobbing and snotting all over myself and music just...makes it better. So much better than any boy. Imma marry music:) Kiera Madison Cecilia Loveless Music. I like itt. >.< I'm just gonna talk about music now. Because it interests me.
My momma said ever since I was little I've been a 'performer'. She said when people would take pictures of me, I would smile all cheesy and make a cute little face and pose. and that when I met new people, I was the most outgoing little girl in the world. and I'd show them all my toys and put on a show for them, and everything. Ha. And I had the HUGEST chubby cheeks. and my eyes were like...giiiigantic. They're still pretty big. but jeez. My daddy couldn't resist my puppy dog eyes:) Now they don't work:( haa. Anywaysss. I was talking to my mom the other day, and I asked when I started singing. and she's like 'literally since you were born.' and I was kinda arguing with it, considering newborns cannot sing...:P so then she told me ever since I could talk, I could sing. and when I was little, my mom sang at weddings, and so she'd sing around the house all the time, and I'd just mimic her. and I had vibrato. I'm not being cocky. IM NOT!! I SUCK!! IMMA GO KILL MYSELF CUZ I SUCK SO BAAAD!!!
Okay. I'm joking. I'm just...I don't think I'm all that good.
Anyways. Music. Is. My. Passion. I was walking home from the bus stop today. and...when I hear a song on my ipod that I know, it's almost impossible for me not to bust out singing it. So I'm walking home to the beat of the song, like lip singing it and making hand gestures and everything. My neighbors probably thought I was insane! :P I'm just happy that I have something that can make me so happy and will never fail me. Music isn't going to break up with me:PP haa. That would be a HORRIBLE DAY.
Well, that's not the only thing that can make me happy and will never leave me. I got God:) He's there to hold me when I need someone to hold me. He's there to hold my hand. He's there to talk to when I need a friend. He's always there. I love God. He's my other boyfriend. I have two now. Imma player. ;) Music and God are pretty awesome boyfriends. :DD You wish Music and God were your boyfriend. But they are MINE. Haa. :))
I'm just...I'm really happy. I keep saying that and then a month later I'm snotting all over myself again. But that's not gonna happen. No matter what happens to me, I'm being strong. I am a BRICK WALL. No one can break me. I'm not playing anyone's games anymore. and I'm not gonna let anything I see or hear hurt me. Because I'm Kiera Madison Cecilia Loveless. I can face anything. Bring on the Earthquakes. Bring on the heartbreak. Cuz I'm not stupid enough to trust anyone anyways. I'm the independant chick all the guys call wierd and mental. You know what? I don't give a care! I'm myself and that's all that matters. I'm not afraid to sing and dance in front of a thousand people. I'm not afraid to run down the school hallway screaming TUUUUNNNAAAA FISSSSHHHH!!! Imma be just fine:) Go ahead. Try to break me. You. Will. FAIL.
Haaaaaaa. Sorry. I'm in one of those moods...nothing's gonna stop me now. NOTHING.
I guess that's all for noww.
Question of the Blog? ::
What's your passion?
-Kiera
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The shoe doesn't fit
Oh was I mistaken. Why does this keep happening to me?! I'm a good kid, right? Then why do I keep getting hurt? Am I never gonna be able to put those walls back down just because when I finally give someone my trust they break it? Or someone I call my friend says they'll e there for me no matter what and then ignores me and decides I'm nothing again because im not perfect enough. I'm not pretty like all the other girls. I don't have perfect hair and straight teeth. But im myself. And no one likes me. And I make he mistake of trusting people. I letmyself get Hurt over and over and I don't know what I did to deserve it! God, why can't you write my love story with a happy ending?! Instead of all the characters getting their happy ever after and constrained left with a tear soaked bed and anorexia? Yeah. Great story. Why do I get the Sucky story? I've always been faithful and the best person I could be and all the girls who arent faithful have happy endings. I guess it really is all in the looks. And I'm always gonna be the 2nd choice or the 3rd wheel because im not good enough for anyone else. I'm not the pretty girl who gets along with everyone, plays a million sports has straight As and is the president of half the clubs in school. I wish I was. But that'll never be me.
Sorry you had to hear that. This is my only place to rant.
-Kiera
Sorry you had to hear that. This is my only place to rant.
-Kiera
2011? O.o
Crap. 2011's gonna suck:/ I can feel it. The first day of it blows chunks. And my new year's resolution was to be happy. RAHHH. I'm happy that 2011 is gonna suck:) WOO. ugh. It. should. be. good. grrrr....okay. I'm done ranting. You know what makes me angry? My dad won't let me get songs off the internet for my ipod, because its 'illegal' and then he also won't let me buy anything on itunes. So I'm screwed. But luckily I have an awesome friend who is making me a CD.:)
So...I just looked at the show choir calendar. HOLY. CRAP. Hell month. For sure. We have practice practically EVERY SINGLE DAY every week. It's intense. and then on weekends we have it from 1-9. O.O I think I might just die. This is like Musical hell week, but a million times worse, right? I'm not gonna be sleeping, am I? haha. I won't be sleeping anyways. So...yeahh...I'm bored out of my mind. FORREAL. Today has been the most boringest day of my life. And that's saying. I usually try to use grammar. Boringest. It irks me. But I'll keep it to explain how excruciatingly boring this day is. I think I might cry.
...
Okay so I'm exaggerating a little bit. But It's been a very uneventful...okay that was ironic. My dad just walked up to me and goes 'would you be nervous to sing the national anthem at a blues game?' and I was like 'yeah, but I'd do it. Why?' and he's like 'so you'd wanna do it?' and I go 'yeahh...why?!' and he's like 'cuz I could prolly hook that up. I know some people' and I was like 'no you don't.' and he's like 'seriously! If you really wanna do it I could probably make it happen!' wowzers. I'm kinda...wow. I'd be on TV. O.o That's awesome.
Okay. Well...gotta eat dinner. :)
-Kiera
(ps. HAPPY NEW YEAR:))
So...I just looked at the show choir calendar. HOLY. CRAP. Hell month. For sure. We have practice practically EVERY SINGLE DAY every week. It's intense. and then on weekends we have it from 1-9. O.O I think I might just die. This is like Musical hell week, but a million times worse, right? I'm not gonna be sleeping, am I? haha. I won't be sleeping anyways. So...yeahh...I'm bored out of my mind. FORREAL. Today has been the most boringest day of my life. And that's saying. I usually try to use grammar. Boringest. It irks me. But I'll keep it to explain how excruciatingly boring this day is. I think I might cry.
...
Okay so I'm exaggerating a little bit. But It's been a very uneventful...okay that was ironic. My dad just walked up to me and goes 'would you be nervous to sing the national anthem at a blues game?' and I was like 'yeah, but I'd do it. Why?' and he's like 'so you'd wanna do it?' and I go 'yeahh...why?!' and he's like 'cuz I could prolly hook that up. I know some people' and I was like 'no you don't.' and he's like 'seriously! If you really wanna do it I could probably make it happen!' wowzers. I'm kinda...wow. I'd be on TV. O.o That's awesome.
Okay. Well...gotta eat dinner. :)
-Kiera
(ps. HAPPY NEW YEAR:))
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