Happy Turkey Day:)!

It's been a while since I've last posted. It seems that every post lately begins with me apologizing for not writing in a while. Business,  business, business.
Today is Thanksgiving! :) Happy Thanksgiving! :DD Today's been great. Too much food, great family traditions. I'm very happy:)

The musical was great. I was so sad when it was over. I think everyone was crying. Or at least the softies like me. It was sad saying goodbye to the people I'd seen everyday after school for 3 months. I know I'll see em' again. Most of em' at least. It's just sad, ya know? Working so hard for something and being completely worn out and then all of a sudden its just...over. I'm so glad I did it. Even if it was stressful, musical really helped me be happy again.

My family has a bunch of traditions for most of our holidays, and Imma share some of ours for thanksgiving.
-We go to different houses each year. This year it was at my house. Hecctiic.But worth it:)
-We always sing Christmas carols. My grandma finds the piano and we all sit around her and sing Christmas carols. I love it.
-We play this game called 'Rob your neighbor'. 13 and under plays with the kids, and everyone buys a buncha little cheap presents and wraps them, marks them 'anyone' 'young girl' 'older girl' 'girl' 'boy' ect, and puts them on a table. You pass around a pan with two die in it, and when you roll a six, you get to pick a prize. At the end, everyone unwraps their presents. It's funn. Then, when your 14 or older, you play with the adults. Same thing, except only girls play with the adults. After boys are 14 they're done. They watch the football game with the guys. and after you unwrap the gifts, then if you roll a six again, you can steal a present you like from somebody else. More fun. This year's my first year playing with the adults. heheh. Oh, and there's a timer. The host (my mom this year) sets a timer but doesn't tell anyone how long the timer's set for, and when it goes off, you're stuck with what you got. One of the cool things about rob-your-neighbor is that you can get whatever, and people buy gag gifts. Like a big block of wood. Not all of them are gag gifts though. This year I helped my mom wrap the gifts and we got some pretty good stuff. Picture frames, gloves, scarves, headbands...a lot better stuff than the kids table. Which is usually like...puzzles, lip gloss, play-dough, candy...the candy I don't object to. :P
-We all pray together before eating.
-After Rob-Your-NEighbor, we attack the pies. Everyone brings one, and so there's about every kind of pie you could possibly imagine. Ohh...I can't wait until after rob-your-neighbor!!
I know there's more but I can't really think of any at the moment. There's the House family thanksgiving. My last name isn't house but...it's like..the family name. Whatever. You get my point. The kids are playing r.y.n right now, so I got bored and came to write. I think they're almost done. WOOness.

So. I think I'm happy. Not completely but...I guess I realize that I can be happy. Which is really good for me. I realize that worrying about little things like boys and stuff is stupid. I just have to be myself. and I shouldn't go looking for love. It'll find me.
There's so many things I'm thankful for.
Gotta go.
:))

-Kiera

Hello World.

My life is so extremely hectic lately. Not only do I have to go to musical practice from 3 to 10 every day, but I my parents also decide they want to argue with me nonstop lately. And to add to that, we're so poor right now, we can't even get a turkey for thanksgiving to feed my gigantic family. I don't think Christmas is gonna be the best, but...it's okay. I feel bad. Cuz if I wasn't in show choir, and musical and all that stuff...maybe we'd have extra money to do more stuff. It's really hard. It's hard when you never get to see your family cuz you're constantly at the school auditorium and your scared because you've got 3 more practices and the musical is NOT done. O.o It's hard when you're friends ditch you for a cute guy, when you'd ditch the cutest guy in the universe for them. It's hard when you can't see anything cuz your glasses broke and you can't afford to make an appointment for new ones. It's hard when you don't have the money to get yourself something to eat at play practice for dinner break. It's hard when guys look at you like the freak you are.
But enough complaining. I'm lucky too. I have a family that loves me...great friends...even if they both can be imperfect sometimes. Everyone can. Even if some do more than others.
Lately, everything's just been so difficult. I wish there was someone who'd hug me. REALLY hug me. Like before and..just...hug me.
I could write so many things right now. and almost all of them I don't want to because
a)they will sound absolutely pathetic
b)I don't want the person every one of them are about to read them.

RAAAWR.

Then there's those little bitty things that brighten your day and just make you think...you know? Everything is gonna be okayy.

Like...getting home and seeing my little siblings sleeping..or getting  home and seeing them running wild around the house. Or sitting in the car idle in the driveway, talking to my mom for a half an hour. Or squeezing all my friends onto a couch and watching a scary movie and screaming and laughing. Or looking at someone that you can see is gonna be happy. That you want to be happy more than you want yourself. And knowing they'll be okay...it helps me know I'm gonna be okay. I kinda just changed persons there.
Or the little girl with the pigtails who smiles at you in walmart, holding onto her mommy's hand.
Don't you wish you could go back to being 4 years old? Nothing really mattered like it does now. The biggest of your worries were that you lost your favorite toy or that you didn't want to take a nap.
I guess what I'm saying is...no matter how hard things get, look at the little things that make you happy. The little things are sometimes the things that can make the biggest difference:)

-Kiera

Hang your head.

Good morning. I'm really tired. and I have gym first hour. Oh. Joy.
I just found an interesting quote.
"Have you ever felt like you can't ever be good enough for the next guy? because you gave everything you had to the one who broke your heart."
Depressing but...I get it. I'm not gonna elaborate. You just think about that for a little  bit, my friend. Think about it.
You know what upsets me? The fact that whenever one of my friends are upset, I make them feel better to the best of my ability. I try my absolute best to put a smile on their face and to listen when needed. and then when I'm upset, the majority of my friends pretty much tell me to get over it and move on. It doesn't work like that. Ehem. The stupid quote "Time Heals" is actually incredibly accurate.
I just...hate thinking about those stupid lies...that I believed. I should've known...I should've been smart. Of course I had to fall for someone who plays with girls hearts and then dumps them and hates them for the rest of their life. What the hell ever happened to we were always gonna be friends? another broken promise? really? cuz I'm pretty sure he hates me. I didn't do anything to him. I haven't been stalking him or trying to get his girlfriend to break up with him. She's happy. Although she said something the other day that made me think. but I'm not puttin' it on the internet.
I'm the farthest from happy I think I've ever been. I've got so much over my head right now. "Kiera, you need to practice the dance more." "Kiera, you need to get these lines down." "Kiera, you need to bring your music." "Kiera, you need to try harder." "Kiera, do the dishes." "Kiera, Clean your room."
WHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!
I want some time to sit on a really, really fluffy bed, and hold myself and cry. and have no one bother me. Just cry. It sounds really stupid, but I'd love to do that. Crying isn't always fun, but it's better than holding it in all the time.
If I didn't have my friends I probably wouldn't be here today. Let's leave it at that.

-Kiera