The First Time.

I realize all the titles of my blogs are also titles of songs. I guess that's kind of ironic in a good way considering music is my life. So...woo. This weekend was quite boring. I went to Jayna's house and we had a good time watching movies, playing nintendo 64 (Mario Party; heck yes!) and making 'recipes' out of Jelly Bellies. Fun stuff:) That was the only exciting part of my weekend. Most of my weekends are boring, unless I'm on a show choir competition. Which I miss so incredibly! My life is so boring with show choir to keep me busy. I miss performing! But I guess I'm just all the more excited about next year. I have a great feeling about next year. We're going to be super good...I hope. We shouldda won this year. Dumb Mount Zion and their 'Magic Box'. So...you know how thinking isn't good for you? Or for me, I'd say. I dunno if I stand by that opinion anymore. Thinking is okay. Sometimes it hurts to realize the truth. Sometimes the truth isn't what you want it to be. But accepting the truth and learning to live with it and hope you'll get over it eventually, just feels better than trying to lie to yourself. It took a long time to realize that. But now I know that I can't lie to myself. Because even if I tell myself what I want to be true, no matter how many times I tell myself that, it's never going to be the truth. and I can't change that. I can't change the facts; the feelings and all the crap I've gone through.
New Subject.
Tomorrow is my parents' 13 year Anniversary. My parents really inspire me. It sounds so dang cheesy, but looking at them makes me believe in love. It's one of the only things that kept me from giving up on love entirely. Because I know one day I'll be happy with someone just like they are with each other. Seeing two people that in love makes me realize that it's real. That I'm not imagining things. Writing in this blog is so hard now. It feels like I've written about everything, you know. But if I have, I'll just keep repeating myself. Sometimes I tell myself I'll be alone forever. I'm too different. No one really sees any little things about me that are beautiful.
So a song just came on that I hate. So Imma go do the dishes. Cuz I can't listen to it anymore. RAWR.

-K i e r a <3