Who am I to be missed...?

So it was perfectly fine for one day and now everything's screwed up again.
Why does everything have to be so confusing...? So confusing that I wanna CURL UP INTO A LITTLE BALL AND CRYYYYY. Until. I. Die.
Truthfully, I actually wouldn't mind dying right now. Maybe...people would miss me if I died. but then again...maybe they wouldn't. No, I'm not going to commit suicide. I'm definitely not the type. And...suicide equal hell.
AH! So my friend tells me..to give a certain someone some space because I'm being too clingy and if I give said person space they will miss me and want me back. But the thing is...what if I give said person space and they LIKE me not being..clingy..or...around them as often? and then I'm completely ruined because said person doesn't give a funion if I go and kill myself because life would be better that way...? With me gone? It hurts. I'm hurt. and I'm writing to this blog because its hurts to write all this down (physically...HAND CRAMPS!!) and its much easier to write it on a blog where no one really reads it. I bet people who've red it before got sick of my rantings and stopped reading it anyways. So I'm just talking to myself. GAH.
I just wish everything would go back to the way it was...a month ago. I don't feel loved anymore. Not even my friends seem to love me. A few of em' maybe but...there's no one who cares enough to call me and ask what's wrong and really care. and not just...do it because they think it's nice. But because they really are worried about me and really don't like to see me hurting. It doesn't really seem like there's anyone that realizes that my life isn't perfect. I make mistakes. Stupid ones. and people get mad at me because, yes, I can be a jerk. and people yell at me and step all over me and I just let them because I can't stand up for myself because I'm scared of everything and I don't wanna argue with people cuz I don't like when people are mad at me and I don't like feeling like I've done something wrong and that something is all my fault so I just let people walk all over me and I'm sick and tired of it! I know I've said this before...but I am. I'm not just some innocent little girl who never gets hurt, and whose life is just PEACHY KEEN. I'm NOT! My life SUCKS sometimes. I'm CONSTANTLY worrying about one thing or another or MULTIPLE things and I've never been so scared in my life and I just wish someone would tell me that everything's gonna be okay and that  they'll be there for me, even if everything is totally crappy. I wish someone would say they miss me and mean it.
But who am I to be missed?