Beautiful Disaster

I come to the garden alone...
while the dew is still on the roses...
I LOVE that song. :)
'He walks with me and he talks with me. and he tells me I am his own...and the joy we share as we tarry there...none other, has ever...known'.
:) So. PRetty.
Anyways. I've had that song stuck in my head all day.
So...dear friends. I got to see Santaa! :) and my sister was to afraid to sit on his lap, but I sucked it up and took a picture. Now it shall be my facebook profile picture. >.< Once I find the camera.
So.
Yeah.
I dunno what to say.
You know what?
I have a lotta good memories with a lot of really awesome people. I did some stupid taggy thing on facebook and the stuff people put on there just made my day so much brighter. And today's already been a really great day. I mean..I got to see SANTA CLAUS. How could it get much better? I realize that I have a pretty rocking life. Rocking. I sound like I'm singing a choral version or a rock song. ING ING ING! ROCKKKKING! :) Ahhhh....Just. Wow.
Sometimes I don't realize how good I've got it. I don't live on the streets. I've got a family that loves me, and friends that I absolutely ADORE:) and if I ever need anyone to hold me, God is right there. Always:)
This may sound, uuuber cheesy. But one time, I was scared out of my mind...and I was laying in my bed having one of those random breakdowns I sometimes have, and I asked God to hold me and I instantly felt a million times better. I felt..whole again. God really does make miracles happen everyday. It's pretty amazing:D
And you know what's funny? (to change the subject randomly like I always do) One of our family friends is over, and he's...10 I think. And he's been sitting next to me watching me on facebook and stuff for a while on the piano bench, and he totally fell asleep. It's so funny. I think I might take a picture later. He's like curled up on the piano bench holding onto the sides. :P
Christmas is comming! I'm just gonna keep saying that until christmas is actually here. :) I'm way excited. Even though I don't think Christmas will be as good as it could be. We're not exactly rich...but you know...being with family is what makes it Christmas. Not the presents under the tree or the gifts you get or santa claus...everyone makes it seem that way. But Christmas is really about Jesus being born. One of the greatest miracles to have ever. Happened. That's something to be celebrated! Not by being selfish in what gifts you give and recieve. But by being happy and greatful for the ones you have, and loving everyone around you, even if you haven't been on the best of terms. Sometimes its hard to look at someone you have a harder past with and want to be best friends with them. Maybe I'm not saying you have to be best friends, but don't push them out of your life. Say...you don't like this annoying friend of yours and you never text them because you think they are just the most annoying person in the universe. and they text you one day, but you ignore it, as always, like any other day. Now lets say the next day, your friend dies in a car crash. Wouldn't you feel kinda bad about ignoring them all the time and wished you could've been closer to them? Now it's too late and they're gone? The world's a scary place.
I wrote a monologue in drama. I didn't use it, because my friends told me it sounded depressing and like I had self confidence issues. But it was really...I really liked it. Of course my friend ended up using it because she asked if she could use it to model hers off of and I said sure, and she ended up forgetting and so just used mine. Which kinda pissed me off, but so be it. I ended up writing my second monologue as Music. Like...my character WAS music. It was pretty inspiring. I was the only one in our class that had a monologue written AND memorized:) I can memorize things pretty fast though. Which is why I don't have to study a lot of the time. I think I have a slight photographic memory. Well...ANYWAYS. I performed it for the class and made myself almost cry. Well, I didn't actually cry, I just used so much emotion that I teared up. I do that when I act sometimes..I don't know why...but our huge, loud class that NEVER. SHUTS. UP...like everyone went completely silent and then clapped at the end. Okay I'm going off topic. My first monologue was about God. And how you look at the world and  you think...what the hell happened. You read in  the bible about how God created the beautiful world and it was perfect and good. and you look at the world now...the death and destruction and...horrible things that happen...and you wonder...really! What the hell happened. Our world is now sort of a...beautiful disaster? but then there's those good things that you see and you realize that the world is perfect in a way. Perfect in a not-so-perfect way. What a beautiful disaster. It's just amazing how everything works out like that. How can people think the world all just happened? Yeah, yeah. The Earth is the EXACT temperature for humans to exsist because of a BIG BANG. OOPS! THE STARS EXPLODED AND MADE MONKEYS EXSIST AND THEY SOMEONE TURNED INTO HUMANS! no.
That's not what went on. God made every one of us and truly thinks we're PERFECT. Which is so..so hard to believe. How am I perfect? I thought no one was perfect. But then I realize...everyone is perfect in our own way. God made me this crazy, melodramatic, completely insane little girl with stringy muddy brown hair, a too big nose and a witchy chin. and he calls me perfect. He calls me absolutely FLAWLESS. And then I look in the mirror and I think...This face isn't perfect. This face is anything but perfect. and it makes me want to FIX myself. But then...look at it this way.
You just finished a masterpeice you've been working on for 4 years that you think looks absolutely brilliant. and your best friend comes to see it and she says it looks ugly and points out all the things she wishes you would change.
Wouldn't that hurt your feelings a little bit?
Now don't be a smart ass(excuse my foul language) and say no because I'm pretty sure that would hurt ANYONE's feelings.
Well...think of it in God's perspective. He made you absolutely perfect the way you are. Pimples, greasy hair, freckles, big nose, bad eye sight, mustache...whatever quirks you've got. He gave those to you for a reason and he looks at you and thinks..wow. He/She is beautiful.
God thinks you are BEAUTIFUL.
Why can't you?
Think about that:)
and have confidence in yourself:D

-Kiera