The title of this blog is the name of a song I love. And why, you ask? Because at the moment, I am in south Carolina, staying at a beach house that when you look outside, the backyard, is the beach. And in the song the title mentions, some lyrics are "I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean" the thing is, I do feel small. I've never felt so small. To think that that ocean stretches on so far it seems like forever. No wonder people used to think the world was square and the ocean dropped off like a cliff. The world is so BIG. I can't help but wonder what's out there for me. People are so different. No one is exactly alike, and its so amazing to think about how many different people there are. How many similarities and differences there really is. And looking at the ocean does make you think twice about your life. Looking out over the waves and the sun and the water that seems to stretch on forever makes you realize a lot. God made that ocean. God is looking down on your right now thinking your beautiful. God forgives every one of us for every horrible sin we've ever committed. That's amazing. I know I always go into mushy God stuff, and i apologize if it makes any readers uncomfortable. But it's my life. Some people argue that God can't be real. "if God were real, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?" people ask. Two words. Free will. God gave us the power to make whatever we wish of our lives. Whether they be good things, or bad. We must allow ourselves to love God. I don't understand people who don't believe, but I suppose it just because I do know God. I must admit, sometimes I get scared. Smetimes I think...what if God wasn't real? What if when people died, it was just like sleeping--except you...never wake up. Sometimes I'll lay in bed late at night thinking about that. And its really scary. But then I realize that he is there. He's watching over me and he's showing me everyday that one day I will be with him in heaven. He shows me through the world arorund me. Ands it's a beautiful thing.
I'm actually a very self conscious person. And if you've read even one of my blog posts, you already know that. I know I shouldnt be so unconfident. God made me beautiful the way I am, in his image. But...everyone has self confidence issues sometimes. For me, it's more than just every once in a while. I guess In some ways, I'm your average teenage girl. Except I do think differently. My best friend and her mom were discussing this in the car. I am independent and have a different mind than most teens do. I am not a follower. I am a leader. Not that I think I need to lead everyone. I just don't follow trends that I don't believe in. I don't rebel against trends just because everyone likes them, like some in pendant people do. I don't care what everyone things of me. Well, I guess i do care, but I dint care to the extent to change myself for others. I've thught about it. I doubt myself sometimes, and want to change to make people like me more. And then I realize that the people that like me for who I am no now, are the people I want in my lfe. Not the others who want me to change.
Alright I guess that's it for tonight. More sometimes soon hopefully.
Sweet dreams, hooligans(:
-Kiera
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